DESTROY YOUR INNER REBEL

We all can have a rebel that lives inside of us taunting and tempting us to turn to the dark side of unhealthy living.  It can even come in the form of outright discouragement from not seeing results right away and out of frustration stuffing our faces with crap because we think what’s the point? We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to putting ourselves down and throwing that adult temper tantrum that leads to nothing but making poor decisions and a negative “mental game”.  In comes resentment and anger at life, the choices we are making that should be working but not, and straight up “biotch” attitudes.  You have just met the inner rebel that seeks to destroy our efforts and take us down to the mental breaking point. 

I say, kick your rebel in the face and refuse to give in to the thoughts that will only give way to a domino effect of good things gone wrong.  Instead of listening to inner voices of temptation to jump ship with taking care of your health, slam immediately on the mental brakes and start writing down what you have been doing in a positive and negative way to take care of yourself.  This will require complete honesty about the food being eaten, alcohol being consumed, and exercise being done or avoided.  This is where we need to get real with our rebel self and in order to destroy the actions that occur from this other person.   Our mental game is at risk here and overall happiness with life and self.  If we lose control and throw in the towel, what good does that do anyone?  The battle is always with ourselves and how we handle that is again our responsibility.

I understand that not seeing results and working your ass off can feel so unfair when results in the mirror or on the scale are not being seen, but if you are completely honest with you, I am sure you will find that the rebel is allowed out to play way too much.  Becoming our best healthy self is about acceptance of this moment and what we are doing right now to change who we are physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Being in denial about the rebel within will not allow for the best you to emerge and consistently be in control of your life choices.  Anger and bitterness over our circumstances resolves nothing, but being pro-active to get to the bottom of why the rebel is winning will provide the answers needed so that a change can be implemented.  

My Bare Faced Beauty Hope

November Challenge for the Ladies:  No Makeup November to support the true beauty of all women.  I am very proud to sponsor my daughter Hope on this campaign to reach out to women all round the world in an effort for them to realize their true beauty, enjoyment and acceptance of self.  Head on over to the No Makeup November page like I did, ditch the brushes and post your beautiful bare face! 

NO MAKEUP NOVEMBER PAGE

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Stay Healthy!

Darla

WORRY LESS AND SWEAT MORE

Sometimes we can get caught up in worrying about so much in this life, and even things that may never happen.  Worry is definitely a thief of our happiness and will dictate our attitude for the day.  It can become a chronic way of thinking and existing, and not only zaps our energy, but can be exhausting for those around us.  Whenever I feel a worry, I stop and think about the cause and ask myself if it is warranted.  Sometimes worry just does not make sense, and the root cause many times is fear or insecurity about something.  The “What If” this or that kind of worry when nothing definite has even revealed itself.  I found one of the best ways to beat up that kind of mentality is to sweat more.  I get my butt going and use that energy on a high energy workout like HIIT (high intensity interval training) or weight training.

Studies have shown that consistent exercise reduces stress and guess what, that includes the stress that comes from worry.  I use my workout sessions as “cheap man’s” therapy and also as my time to talk with God about what the heck is going on that is making me feel worrisome or anxious.  The more I work and sweat it through, the better I feel.  Most of the time I feel relief, calm, and energized all at the same time after a therapy sweat session.  I do not want to waste my time and energy dragging down my mental game and overall attitude on unnecessary worry.  Not only am I moving my body in a challenging way, but also relieving my mind of the clutter that is taking up precious space. 

The”worry less and sweat more” philosophy provides a healthier lifestyle and the ability to cope with the day to day obligations and responsibilities in life. I feel like I am missing out on something very important for me if I do not sweat it out. My day just feels off, not as accomplished and even tension filled because I did not get that bottled energy out. I like to face head on in the gym any feelings that are questionable as worry and I am not one to just ignore me and think everything is going to fix itself.  I am a doer and a sweater to help maintain a positive outlook, reduce stress and eliminate unnecessary worry.  I am all about not sweating the small stuff but using sweating more to worry less.  

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Be well and Stay Healthy

WHEN IT COMES TO SEX AND MENOPAUSE, USE IT OR LOSE IT

Let me clarify before I continue writing this article that my stance about sex is that it belongs and is a big part of a healthy marriage. The issue with sex and menopause, or even going through the premenopausal period brings lots of changes to the female body that can negatively impact our sex lives. I do cover all things health related and never to offend, but hopefully to motivate, inspire, educate, or get us thinking about our lives in a healthier way.  I have joined the ranks of the 50+ woman and feel that it is important to speak out about subjects that we all want to talk about, but seem to hide behind closed doors feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or in denial.  Whatever the case may be, please know that no woman will escape going through menopause, we all have this in common, and it is pretty awesome to think that there is a support system to lean on for answers.

I am just going to blurt it out, when it comes to sex and menopause, use it or lose it ladies.  As our hormones plummet to nothing, ugly things start to happen to the vaginal and surrounding tissue of the urethra.  Our once plumped up beautiful flower has started to wither away making pollination something of a challenge to say the least. What is happening is called vaginal atrophy and just as a muscle begins to decrease in size and shape when not exercised, the same thing happens to our vagina. Studies have shown that consistent sexual activity helps to promote lubrication of the vaginal walls and to maintain the shape and strength of the vaginal canal.  So it is not only important to have regular sexual activity, but also climaxing to exercise those muscles and bring blood flow to the area.  

Sex is a big part of a healthy marriage, and I applaud the husbands out there who are our biggest cheerleaders, and approach with patience and understanding their menopausal wives.  The bedroom romp takes on a whole different meaning when it comes to our aging bodies.  We will be the biggest investors of lubricants, gels, and creative play to maintain a healthy sex life.  The important thing to remember is not to get frustrated, relax, go with the flow, and just have sex.  Schedule a sex date with your spouse and focus on the feelings, sensations, and enjoyment of just being together.  That is what it is all about anyway, giving of ourselves to each other, without inhibition, embarrassment or shame for what we are going through, but a greater sharing experience and acceptance of who we are as women.  Place no expectations on the sexual experience and bask in the moment of play time with your spouse. 

Sex and menopause are just another part of our journey in this life and we do have a choice of how we will handle the changes.  It is important to be pro-active in taking care of our sexual bodies and applying whatever healthy measures that will enable us to feel good, sexy and confident in this area.  Avoiding the subject will not only create a dysfunctional vagina, but also an unhealthy marriage, since sexual closeness is an important part of expressing our need and want for our spouse.  Apply the “use it lose it” philosophy to your changing body and you will be on the right track to a healthier vagina through menopause.   

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Be well and Stay Healthy

PLAN FOR SUCCESS

Having a plan is so important in our success in life and health.  I think this quote says it well: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”  When something is planned out and written down, not only is the motivation kicked up, but also the personal challenge to reach that goal increased.  Besides, it is a written plan right in front of our face, and not something that we are only thinking about and may put into place someday.  See the difference?  If we are good stewards of our money for example, we are budgeting for expenses with our income and successfully paying our mortgages, rents, and overall bills.  Without that budget plan in place, I am sure we can all agree a huge financial mess would be the result of our irresponsibility.  Planning takes responsibility and a commitment to do what is best for our life and health.  Failing to plan sets us up for failure. 

Let’s get back to the plan and what it takes to put a health related goal into place.  I highly recommend an accountability journal to plan out strategies for exercise scheduling and also a healthy food tracking area to record food intake daily.  I also like to keep track of water intake, sleep and my overall mental game.  Tracking your weight on a scale one time per week is also motivational to see your progress and to ensure that the plan is working.  When the plan fails to function, it is never the goal that changes, but the plan or program.  Finding what works for each of us is a trial, error and fine tuning of our plan until we see the results of our investments. Just as it is exciting to pay down debt with a responsible budget plan, it is equally or even more exciting to reduce our waist lines through our commitment to the plan of adopting a healthy lifestyle. 

Everybody understands the need and importance of money to support our lives and my goal is to convey that our health banks are even more important. Imagine not balancing our checkbooks and leaving out transactions each day to the point of not knowing the balance.  Accounts would be overdrawn, additional fees paid, collectors knocking at the door, and stress increased tenfold.  That same analogy can be applied to our daily exercise and food intake.  If we do not balance our food intake, write down what is consumed, or never record our exercise expenditure, we are setting ourselves up for weight gain, increased risk of disease and illness, increased stress, and eventually doctors knocking at the door. Looking at how important a plan is for success in these terms should motivate all of us to implement them today. 

Living a healthy life is not a guessing game or a wish and we are only kidding ourselves when we run around without a plan.  Success comes when daily habits of eating healthy and moving our bodies are made a planned priority. Do we sweep our money responsibilities under the rug?  Well, I suppose some may but the outcome is always an unhealthy consequence in doing so.  How much more important is our health and that so many people do just that, sweep it under the rug.  Let’s turn the goals of obtaining a fit body into more than just a wish by starting today with a plan for adopting a healthy lifestyle. 

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Be well and Stay Healthy 

SABOTAGE STEALS SUCCESS

Sabotage is a strong word to describe the behavior that can sneak into our life and steal the success that healthy eating and exercise has provided our bodies.  It can come in the form of our own thoughts, an unsupportive spouse, friend, and even co-workers. The important thing is to be on guard so that the forms of sabotage can be recognized and dealt with in a way that is healthy, and keeping us on track with our fitness goals. I am not addressing the occasional cheat meal or even day, I am talking about a chronic issue of falling into a trap of being swayed away from a healthy lifestyle, and allowing that to happen.

Living a healthy lifestyle takes mental strength and a loving commitment to maintain our best self through consistent healthy choices each day. Let’s address self-sabotage and how it can creep into our mind and try to convince that “just this once” or “just a few bites” can become part of the healthy plan.  The issue with this type of sabotage is that it does not stop at the “just once or a few bites”.  Often times, this mindset flows into several days, weeks, and even months, and before it is over, the weight loss achieved is back up to where it started, and possibly more than the initial weight. Convincing ourselves that eating crap on a regular basis is never a good thing for our bodies, and remaining on guard so that self-sabotage can be recognized and dealt with immediately is crucial to stay on track with our fitness and health goals. Keeping a daily fitness journal is a helpful accountability tool to keep us on track.

Another sabotage culprit is that wonderful person you live with until death do you part.  Love has nothing to do with sabotage of this type and the non-supportive spouse may not get the whole new health thing or does and is struggling with acceptance of your new healthy lifestyle.  There are many relationships like this and living a healthy lifestyle becomes difficult, as the processed foods and other temptations continue to hide in your pantry and refrigerator.  Sometimes, a spouse turned healthy and leaving the other behind can cause friction in the relationship as guilt trips occur over the change in lifestyle.  It is so important to realize that each person is ready when they are ready and force-feeding a new healthy lifestyle on your spouse will only drive a wedge in the relationship.  As the one wanting to live a healthy lifestyle, model by example, and when the cupcakes come calling, politely say “no thank you” and grab a yogurt and piece of fruit to eat along with your partner. Mental strength has to be on overtime in these circumstances as there will be a daily guarantee of temptation.  Keep that promise of creating your best healthy self and great positive attitude, and almost assuredly your spouse will eventually join you.  Patience will be your best friend here.

Sabotage among friends exists and it can be ugly.  Creating a healthy lifestyle will mean making hard choices and dismissing ourselves from possible temptations that will steal our accomplishments. Some friends may not understand that you no longer want to eat processed foods or drink alcohol all night long, and are happy to provide the peer pressure to get you to fold on your commitment to self.  A strong mental game is definitely a requirement and sometimes a request of support from your friend will be necessary.  A true friend will understand and come alongside of such an important decision and one that does not care will continue to sabotage your efforts. If you continue to hear that it is OK to let your hair down and relax with your program on a continual basis from a so-called friend, you may want to re-think the motives of this friend.  It is unfortunate, but jealousy does exist and can rear an ugly head during such times, and some may not be able accept that your body is changing in beautiful positive ways.  The important thing in this type of situation is to be true to you, regardless of what is said or pressure felt.  Going out can be limited to a glass of wine and water in addition to healthy food selection.  Continue to enjoy your life and implement the healthy choices and the rest will take care of itself.

It seems like there is no safe place for the healthy person to hide from the forms of sabotage and the workplace is no stranger to being involved.  Do you have a break-room filled with daily temptation, or that co-worker who always brings the donuts and gladly sets one on your desk? Put up the mental defense when it comes to accepting sabotage at work because you do have more control here.  Bringing a cooler filled with your healthy planned meals will keep your fingers off the bagels and cream cheese with a side of cookies.  Be stronger than the saboteur and say “thanks but no thanks” to the invitation of work indulgence eating.  If a strong mental game is not put into play, visiting the break-room can become a daily occurrence with the results showing up on the waist line, and a complete derail of the healthy lifestyle you want to implement.

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TOSSING OUT THE TRASH

So many of us have a hard time accepting the great things about ourselves, the accomplishments achieved, the results gained, and instead zero in on what we think is negative.  I have to admit that I am guilty of this on occasion and I know my hubby would like to beat me over the lack of “mental game” head when I have a vocal slip. Why do we go right for that juggler of what we “think” is not a great attribute on our bodies, even if it is a work in progress? I for one am going to toss any negative stuff that may pop out of my mouth about myself into the mental trash can.  I do not allow negative talk in my studio, and I will not be a hypocrite behind closed doors.  So, next time I complain about how my butt is not as lifted, and go for a squeeze of disappointment on the cheeks, I will slap my own backside for that behavior.

The journey of this life is to be our BEST self at every age, and joining the  50+ club now means my bootie will not be as high and tight as my twenty something beautiful backside daughter (btw … got it from her Mama J), but I applaud that I am happy with my body overall.  Sometimes I think it feels difficult mentally to grow old and more like an inability to believe or accept that it is happening.  We go through the process of living each day not thinking about what is going on with our bodies with each passing day, month, or year.  The reality is that we are all growing older and the changes that go along with that are not an option.  I am not counting the options of medical science elective processes that are chosen to hide what is happening with our aging process and let’s face it, minor elective procedures stop working or look absolutely ridiculous as the years add up.  In my mind I still feel twenty-something, but the mirror reveals a truth that sometimes blows my mind and I am sure many can relate to what I am saying.

It is not that I am being a negative Nancy about me or my body, but I do miss my younger self sometimes. I believe that is an OK feeling to have as long as it does not interfere with accepting the beautiful person that I am right now.  The years have gone by in what seems like a blink of an eye and that is what is so unbelievable.  I look at my daughter and see myself years younger and WOW, if that is not a reality check.  That is when the meaning of life and how generations are ready to step up and into the position of where I am hits home. It truly is a beautiful thing and growing older is an honor and privilege, but for many it is scary to face or accept.   It really is OK to say that I am fifty years old and that I am happy with my fitness level and body appearance. Loving ourselves right where we are is what starts the positive mental game process of improving and progressing.

Trashing who we are, verbally attacking our bodies, and feeling crappy or guilty about it is not a healthy way to live.  It is important to achieve the best health and fitness at every age and that is what matters in addition to being happy through the process.  No one enjoys being around a negative Nancy or Ned, and that can stop with each of us by holding our tongues and immediately changing our thought process to something positive when those negatives try to knock at our door. In fact, it is important to take it out of our door and right into the trash.

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Be well and Stay Healthy

HEALTHY AND FIT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

When it comes to getting a healthy fit body, it is not about making it complicated, extreme, and it is far from a science project.  There are so many confusing messages hitting us square in the face about the “right” diet and the “right” fitness fad exercise program to create what we so long to become.  Even further, people rush in droves overspending on pills, powders, gimmicks, videos, extreme fitness programs, and anything that promises a smoking hot body in two weeks or less.  Sadder still, there is no consideration of the negative effects on the body when such choices are made.  It is the dive blind and hope for the best philosophy and that would scare the crap out of me.

Think about the word health and what that means to you personally. I live a life of health and fitness and teach it as a lifestyle of quality that includes eating healthy foods, exercise and stretch on a regular basis.  It is also important to reduce pain in our bodies, and stress in our lives overall.  Lastly, I touch on the areas of emotional and spiritual health and wrap health up in a balanced package of physical, nutritional, emotional and spiritual well-being. There is nothing blind about the correct approach to adopting a healthy lifestyle and achieving that smoking hot body.

We all have the potential to create our best healthy body, but fall short when we slip through the cracks of empty promises and seek out the quick fixes that are never guaranteed.  What is guaranteed and will provide the results of good health and fitness are our individual choices to live a healthy life each day. This process is not rocket science but getting back to the basics of simple living.  Eating healthy has become such a complicated subject of what to eat, when to eat, why to eat and the same is true with exercise as everyone preaches the “my way is the only way” agendas. 

Let’s consider how to make healthy simple and work for each of us.  I like to start by writing down healthy foods that I enjoy eating: lean chicken, fish, peaches, plums, raw nuts, fresh vegetables, yogurts, and chocolate for example. I do the same thing with my exercise programs: ARC trainer, HIIT programs, dancing, stretching, and weight training to name a few.  I keep my cooking simple and healthy using olive and coconut oils, lots of spices, and herbs.  I exercise for no more than an hour 4 to 5 times per week, and make it a goal to get plenty of rest.  There is nothing magic about what works for me and I create my healthy lifestyle around what I enjoy.  If the focus is on simple, healthy, and fun, the results of that lifestyle will be seen on the outside as well as the inside.

Adopting a physical healthy lifestyle is not extreme, is not meant to hurt our bodies but a gift of moving our bodies in a way to challenge and build a stronger self.  There has been some trial and error as I have walked through the types of exercises that work best for my body, that continue to challenge me, but eliminate or greatly reduce risk of injury.  I may try something and feel aggravation and not that good sore that occurs from a great workout, and that is my body’s way of telling me not to do that move.  I simply remove what does not work for me, and keep what does.  My workouts will not be your workouts, and I do not buy into that philosophy of there is only one right way. Life and health does not work like that and I say run from any fitness professional who preaches that agenda. 

The same goes with adopting a healthy eating routine.  There is never a “one-size-fit” all program, we all have different tastes, and I hope we are all steering clear of foods that upset our systems. Our bodies are wonderful machines that know exactly what to do with the food we consume, and honestly, we are all adults with common sense enough to know that if we continue to eat like crap, we will feel like crap, and our bodies will be wearing the consequences.  There are no pills, potions, or exercise programs that will take away the results of poor eating habits.  It is important to realize that although science is at work in our bodies every day, when it comes to adopting a healthy lifestyle, let’s leave the rocket science where it belongs and get real with keeping it simple.

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Be well and Stay Healthy